I've Lost it

Revelation 2:4
Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.


Have you ever been there? That's where I'm at right now. I'm in that rut. Vance Havner describes a rut like this: Many people are in a rut and a rut is nothing but a grave-with both ends kicked out. How true. 


Being a Christian for 16 years certainly has not made me some super Christian. In fact, I feel as if I have fallen further away and it's of my own doing. God is right where I left Him. I know the words to say and I know what to do, but what is holding me back? If I'm honest with myself, it's selfishness, plain and simple.  I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Oh, this dreadful human, sinful nature! 


I don't know how often I'll be posting, but I do want to document my growth. I want to get my relationship right with the Lord. 


Lord,


I know I haven't been doing all I should be doing for you. I've fallen away. Please help get back on track. You are all-knowing. Thank you for all you've given me. I don't deserve it all. I want to return to first-love feeling I had when I first got saved. There was such joy and excitement and I so looked forward to our meetings. Life has pulled me this way and that and I've let it steal that joy from me. You alone can restore that. Lord, I start anew with your grace.


In Jesus precious name, 


AMEN